But then it got bigger, and now it's ugly. Time to let go.
Does this mean that I have to explain myself with each new person in my life? That they will have to be told that I'm not like them? That they are standing before a conjurer of magic and spells? The wart let us do away with such time consuming small talk.
Have you ever gone through this? Not the wart issue, but change your identity? The way people see you? Every time you start a new job, move to a different town, go to a party filled with strangers, they don't know the roles you play. They don't know that you are the damned most awesome player of Apples to Apples, love hip hop more than your teen, and had a movie star crush on RIP Alan Rickman. My god, strangers don't even know what your favorite tree is. So pitifully hard.
What did you do? Make an announcement in a local paper? That would be so much easier than telling every one in your new town all about yourself, especially if it is a major metropolis. Giving your about-me elevator pitch, face-to-face, to a million or so people could take time away from unpacking.
I suppose social media is the way to go on this one.
This summer, I anticipate moving to another county. My plan this time around is to make up my identity. Does the new crowd really need to know I am not the direct descendant of Joan of Arc? That I am a well known author, under a pen name they could never guess? That I won the Nicest Witch of the Year Award, three times in a row? Because, all of these could be true, or at least, close to it.
Behind me in the move, I will forsake my worst reputations. Not being an efficient weed puller, an embarrassing addition in Zumba classes, the habit of wearing pajamas on work-at-home days, and not knowing how to dust. Can't say how long it will take for neighbors to learn my failings, but at least I'll have a few months of respite.
What new identity are you going to take on? We could both be related to Einstein, and share his IQ. If you want to say you invented chocolate covered strawberries, I will send a Letter of Confirmation. Definitely pretend to be on the Witness Protection Program, then only hint at the reason.
Also, practice being a witch. Get the cackle down, eat suspiciously slimy foods, buy too many straw brooms, own a black cat. If acquaintances wonder if you could cast a curse, you can get just about whatever you want. So much easier than throwing an adult temper tantrum.
Be creative in your new self. Only share with me (and anyone else who reads the comments on this page). Have fun with the fresh face that is now you!
This wild elephant has a reputation for making kids laugh, and for being big, bold and beautiful.
Witch with elephant sized attitude