Friday, March 16, 2018

Realistic Dating Questionnaire

Moderation in all relationships, for a lifetime of joy.

For that one percent of you singles who have never partaken in on-line dating, I'll give you the low down on how it works. Most give a questionnaire to determine your personality. Then they match you with potential companions with similar interests, desires, goals and ambitions. Compatibility for a happy relationship. But the questions mask what we really need to know. They are not enough. For a long-term, happy partnership, I suggest the following;

What is the home temperature gap that you can tolerate? I bring forth the evidence of my grandparents. Grandma was constantly cold. When Grandpa was in the backyard working on his infinite number of wood projects, she would sneak over to the heater dial and inch it up to sixty (Fahrenheit. If you operate in the Celcius World, you will have to do your own calculations). Then, when she left the room, Grandpa would tip toe in, and push the dial to sixty. Who did they think they were fooling? It's not like there was a heat dial mouse pushing the knob back and forth when no one was looking.

A temp range of ten degrees was what they could maneuver around, and stay happily married for over fifty years. Much over that, who knows what could have happened. I picture Grandma throwing her marble rolling pin at her husband if the difference marched to eleven degrees.

Wall Pictures. What defines ludicrous, horrid, or I can stand to look at it. And what room, height, and which wall? Can you come to some sort of agreement? Warning, photos are often covered in glass. If there is a battle, someone could smash the picture and attack with a glass shard. Be ready to take your stand, for or against, wall decorations, but keep the mood peaceful.

You may both like jazz, but can you listen to a blaring trumpet at midnight? Does the genre that gets you going in the morning, make your partner want to listen to nails on a chalkboard? Can you compromise with ear buds for the unshared musical tastes?

Kitchen: dishes done all day long, or once at night. Does the sight of dishes in the sink leave your blood curdling in the vein? If you agree on a cleanliness level in theory, will both parties keep up with what they say they will? Will there be one slacker, and one person scrubbing everything? If so, resentment will build quicker than a scared rat on meth. Pots and pans may be flying before dinner ever gets eaten.

The supposed romantic sanctuary: the bedroom. No, this is not about how often to have sex, or the best pleasure positions, it's about something even more important. Are you a cover hog, unconsciously stealing warmth away from the partner who likens heat to the need to breath. Further, can you abide to endure a partner who sleeps until two in the afternoon every Sunday. Snoring? Think about consistency, noise level, and how sound of a sleeper you are. Will it be so bad, that separate rooms may have to be considered?

Bathroom: Do you let the shampoo spill over the bottle, forget to close the cap, steal the expensive spa shampoo? Toilet seat up or down, bathroom door open or closed when unoccupied, do you wipe the steamy medicine cabinet mirror with a towel? Have you been trained to use a plunger? How stinky is your stink?

Outside:Do traditional sex roles become the assumption? I waited for weeks for my then husband to mow the lawn of our first house. When the grass reached mid-thigh, I deduced that the job was falling to me, or a lawn maintenance service. If I wanted a partnership marriage, tackling the lawn was not to be done automatically by the male. Darn it.

And of course, is there accountability, honesty, respect? You may always love someone, but not want to live with him/her.

Ask the hard questions by the third date. No need to wait, only to find out years later that the doilies you think are adorable on the sofa, make your partner want to puke by the cuteness of the throwback decoration. Know thyself, and what you can put up with for a lifetime.

An elephant and giraffe dating?
If they can pull it off, you can endure anything in a relationship.

Heather Leigh,
Tolerant of 9 degree temperature variance