Friday, August 9, 2013

Water Aerobics With John Steinbeck

Water Aerobics has been a weekly class held every Thursday, all summer long, and every Thursday we've been busy doing SOMETHING.  From buying cat food for my starving felines, to watching my kids surf with visiting cousins, to being in a temporary coma (i.e. I forgot), I missed the class. Oh, and then there was that one night when I was swimming laps in the other pool and also forgot about the water fitness class. Finally, last night, I went to the last class of the summer. It was soooo much fun!

Johnnie, the instructor, was one of the perkiest persons I have ever been around.  Ever see 'Parks and Rec' TV show? If you have, picture the role played by Rob Lowe with a snarky sense of humor--perfectly fit and perpetually happy.  He kept our heart rates on high while puncturing funny bones with jokes interwoven with demands for underwater triceps pulls.  In the middle of a sixty second egg beater leg burner, the exercise of choice in water polo, Johnnie yelled out the succulent ingredients of a carne asada burrito. He is lucky I don't eat meat or dairy as I may have been tempted to clobber him with my foam floaty weights. His intentions were actually honorable, he was not out to taunt us; after the egg beaters we had officially burnt enough calories to consume the normally forbidden calorie-cholesterol Mexican staple.  Perhaps two of them washed down with a pina colada

When he played Time Warp from Rocky Horror Picture Show, I had glimpses of how cardio raisers would be in heaven.  I mean, music from the cult classic in a refreshing pool on a warm evening in southern California; sky so blue it seemed wrapped in neon, and palm trees waving their fronds in the distance.  I was working out, feeling the fat cells float away, gluteal muscles firming up, and having an evening as much fun as a personalized weekend writing retreat with author John Steinbeck (he'd be alive for the retreat, of course).

As revealed in the first paragraph, that was the last class of the summer season. The college to which the pool belongs will be back in session in two weeks.  Should I laugh or cry, I wonder? I was able to spend fifty minutes of aquatic bliss while working heart and muscles but could have been experiencing this all season.  In order to prevent my head from exploding or dive into a pool of despair, I am going to force myself to choose to appreciate the time I did get to spend in Johnnie's class.

Maybe I could hire a private investigator to find him and attend some of his other classes.  He must teach elsewhere.  Now that is the most reasonable outcome to the situation at hand: stalk the swim teacher.  Sometimes, just sometimes, my intellect astonishes even me.

Hope you have a day of joyful health and don't miss a whole summer of something that tightens abdomens through laughter and leg pull-ups.

Heather Leigh

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