Remodeling My Vacation

Working at a luxury day spa, I am often privy to wealthy people's conversations. While most are happy, wonderful people, there are those who, well, like to complain. And the two most common complaints I hear are about their home remodeling job, and how this year's tropical vacation was NOT as good as last years.

Well, I can sympathize.

First off, when I do my own remodeling job at home, such as put a chair back in the dining room or replace a broken piece of tile, the job is just not that great. The chair either tiptoes back to its original place in the middle of the room, or the tile is cross-eyed backwards (don't ask me to explain what this means--you get the gist of it). Or, last year when I tried to paint over the rust in the bathroom sink, the white color didn't match anything the human eye has ever seen. And forget about the new futon in the living room. The cats have taken it over and won't share a single paw space.

And don't get me started on that last stay-cation.  Can you believe I had to park two blocks away from the beach and walk! Where is the free valet beach service in San Diego? Where are my tax dollars going? Then at the dog park when Sydney pooped on the grass, the people there looked at me like I was supposed to pick up her mess. What is this country coming to when I have to take responsibility for my own dog? Please, people, please.

Okay, and can we talk about house cleaning? Years ago, I sent my maid on vacation to Hawaii and she never came back. There is just no respect for employers anymore. But don't worry, when she comes back she will learn her lesson. I have not dusted or cleaned a single window since she left. I am letting the gunk build up for her to clean. That will teach her!

I have to leave now to get my son. While I'm gone, Sydney has agreed to clean things up a bit here. It's only fair after that dog park incident.  She said she is going to rearrange the trash onto the kitchen floor and put my bedspread into a new format. At least I can count on my dog to help me on remodeling and decorating. Now maybe the cats will start licking the walls clean like they do their fur. Oh, what a beautiful home we shall have!

Heather Leigh