Just now, just a second ago, I sent the next Scout and Ellie, The Beauty Pageant in for review with CreateSpace. This means that once they give the big thumbs up, it will be available for Amazon purchase.
This brings me to thinking about other things in my life that are up for review.
How about my dog, Sydney. She is old, lazy, and still melts my heart with those big brown puppy eyes. In the nine years that she has lived with us, I wonder how many walks we have taken her on. Have I done my job with giving her enough pee spots to smell at the dog park, trimmed her rear end fur sufficiently to avoid dingle berries, pulled every tick from her body after hiking in tall grasses? What about attention...I would say she gets loads, but she would probably disagree. You see, there are times when I pet the cats, and she is not okay with that. So, hmmm, verdict is out as to whether or not I have been a good enough provider for our Australian Shepherd.
Second review item would be my sons. They are teenagers, so they are half-way formed into adulthood. They both allow me to be seen with them, text me when they need something, and allow me in their rooms. These are all good signs--right? AND, neither have been arrested, only one broken bone each, and have never done hard drugs. All positive signs. I'll even go further than that. They are both intelligent, good-looking, and awesome. I am not just saying that because I'm their mother--it is actually true!
Guess now it's time to review my self. My kids are great, so my parenting skills must not suck. I have never forgotten to feed the animals, the cats sleep on my head at night, so they must like me, and I even clean up their poop. Scout and Ellie, The Beauty Pageant, is my 8th published book, so I'm following my bliss as a career choice. My family seems to like me--unless they are faking it to be polite. I even have friends who will hang out with me.
On the other hand, I have an addiction to chocolate--but what woman doesn't? I am the worst decorator and house cleaner in the United States: be sure to call ahead when coming to visit. I preach about the grossness of coca-cola, but secretly love those bottled cokes from Mexico. After every chapter I write, I sneak in a game of Mahjongg. I start listening to Christmas Carols in November and The Sound of Music is my favorite movie. Eating cheese gives me gas. I don't floss enough. I still believe some men have cooties. My weight info on my driver's license is not quite correct (but in the general ball park!). That divinity chocolate great-aunt Diane made every year because she thought it was was my favorite? Secretly hated it. I fell on my face and ripped my jeans the one time I tried to skateboard with my sons.
So, in review of my life thus far, I declare myself--fair-to-middlen. How about you? Can you stand up to the review of your life?
Heather Leigh
Author and mid-level on the life review scale
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