Sunday, October 16, 2016

Bird Brain Storm

How does the Weather Service know what time our rain will stop? They predicted a 3:30 downpour cease. Well, holy moly, guess what happened at 3:30 p.m.? Not at 3:29, nor 3:31, but on the button, exact-a-mundo, stop time. Literally. As the second hand clicked into place, raindrops vanished from the sky. I believe the ones out of my eyesight were sucked back into the towering, thick, dark gray, stalking clouds. Storm lunacy.

The resistant leaves on our front yard maple are cautiously at rest. Rather than the cruel force of the impassioned winds that have been knocking them around for two days, they are at a breezy, well-deserved peace. Those are tough little buggers that are still clinging to the branches. Should I reward them with maple syrup for their strength and fortitude? Although, I am not quite sure how to do that. Perhaps I could dip each one in a cup of syrup. Hmmm.

Neighbor kids brought out a foot-high toy sailboat and took full advantage of the wind and huge puddles. Silly kids. Although they pretended to have fun in a storm, us grown-ups know better. The only way to enjoy a wet, blustery day is to sip hot cocoa in a warm house and talk about how lovely rain is. We know better than to actually participate in the elements of nature. Ah well, someday they will have our wisdom.

There was an article once about computer storm people. They could not get the computer to figure out how birds land on a tree branch in windy weather. That means, that the people who are so smart that they can predict the EXACT time that rain will disappear, are not as sophisticated as a bird. Hope has been restored to my intelligence. If they are plagued with smarts, smaller than a bird brain, then there is a chance for a writer to have at least a portion of a nugget of cerebral knowledge. Whew, that feels good. I am off the hook of complete stupidity. Perhaps, maybe, you are too!

Now that we know that we are in with the smart crowd, what could we do in the world? I'm thinking, that after I dip each surviving maple leaf into a bowl of syrup, that I will take on world peace, provide food, clothing and shelter to every human, and stop climate change. Shouldn't take me more than a day or two. Of course, I will wait until this storm has totally passed. Wouldn't want to risk getting cold.

Thank you for joining me in our new Smaller Than a Birdbrain Smarts Revolution. I look forward to seeing what you come up with to make the world into a perfect place. One request for a volunteer to undertake is to get rid of cold weather. I am very much opposed to chill, but have yet to come up with an idea that does not destroy the earth. It has to be an eco-friendly solution. Good luck, and may the force of your smaller than a bird brain be with you.

Together, we will take on the ills of humanity!

Heather Leigh,
Warm, Snug, Smaller-Than-A-Birdbrain, Storm Watching Author

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