Cutie Canines

I have a serious problem and I don't want anyone telling me this is no big deal. Our dogs love fruits and vegetables. I can hear what you are thinking: healthy animals are a good thing. Their diet choices keep them away from illness, the vet, diarrhea issues, whatever. Well, that is all good for those canines--but what about me?

The California Cuties, mandarin oranges, are in season (are they only available in California? Any out-of-staters out there, please let me know). Those bright orange lively spheres are sweeter and better than any candy on the market. Easy to peel, no seeds, zesty with flavor and juice, seems like they should be illegal or at least bad for you like a donut.

So here is where the issue zooms in. Sydney and Daisy are even more smitten with them than I am. Translation: I'm allowed to eat one segment, next goes to Syd and then Daisy. I'm allowed to eat one-third of those golf ball sized treats! The whole Cutie season only lasts a month.

And you should see them when we get a watermelon, Sydney's favorite fruit. It's a wonder they don't attack me while it is being cut. Sheesh.

I know what else you are thinking. That I am the owner, the master, the Akeela. That I should be able to say no to those furry companions. But Sydney is fifteen years old. She is in her last year of life expectancy (something that will bring me to wrenching tears if I dwell on it for more than ten seconds). You try and say 'no' when this may be her last Cutie season.

Of course, she has passed on her fruit and veggie, begging and obsession to puppy Daisy. Can't just treat one dog and not the other. Talk about sibling rivalry issues that would cause mayhem and madness in our peaceful home.

There is also no fairness with this whole sheboogle. Because, see, I do not share any enthusiasm for their treats. No, I just can't get into dog biscuits, doggies nibbles, or even pig ears. Nothing! Not one iota of my body wants to get down on the floor and chew away at a bone or chunk of raw hide. They get every bit of their snack to themselves. Not once has anyone in our family looked at them with big eyes and yearned for a piece of their stuff.

Okay, there was that one time when the boys were five and eight. Older one dared the younger to eat a dog biscuit. He did it, but only because it was smeared in peanut butter. That doesn't count as begging.

Guess I'll have to smuggle my fruit to work from now on. Well, I don't know. I do kind of love those dogs. Maybe I can share just one more Cutie.


Heather Leigh,
Companion to Veggie Lovers

P.S. I know the third thing you are all thinking: what are the vegetables they love? Carrots and corn on the cob at the top, onions at the bottom.