I have two main goals as a parent:
1. To not screw up so bad that the boys need therapy to get over me.
2. To screw up enough to give them a sense of humor.
So far, I seem to be succeeding in the second goal. The first is pending as they are still at home. How do I know they have a sense of humor? Here is a remark made years ago by my second son:
"Good babies come from Disneyland. Bad babies from the back alleys of Taco Bell."
My first son and I are religious attenders of the monthly Improv show in town and we laugh too loudly at The Muppets.
Both make me laugh even when I am not partaking in wine.
All that is left now to fulfill my life-long wish to have moderately dysfunctional offspring, is to get them into moderately dysfunctional families of their own. Ohhh, the joys of being a parent.
Yesterday we went on our trip to the dentist. In our small town, the only decent office that accepts our insurance is two and a half hours away. Anyhoo, most of their conversation revolved around comic books and movies. It is one of the few topics under which they are both in agreement on major issues. Here is how I know that they are seriously maturing: At five and eight years old, they had one of the biggest arguments ever known amongst siblings. Is the Incredible Hulk a real superhero? This led to a huge, knock down, screaming rampage.
And now, ten years later, they can rationally agree that the green muscled hunk needs more airtime in the movie theatre. I am the proud mother of two maturing young men.
When we stopped for lunch at the Chinese food restaurant, no one in our family screamed that I starve my children by making them eat healthy food. Neither of them flung peas, spit wads, or scalding tea. I never heard a single burping of the entire alphabet. And no one slid under the table in search of previously chewed bubble gum to snack on.
People tell me the boys are so good because they had good parenting. But I know this is not the truth. I have seen some pretty darned terrific parents whose kids had major issues. The reality is that I have been blessed.
Proud mother of non-belchers