Thursday, September 15, 2016

Zombie Frogs

There is a great fear that I know must be shared by multitudes of people: What would happen if the Zombie Apocalypse occurs while I am in the gym jacuzzi? As I crawl my way out with melted, mushy muscles and brain, it would be easy to mistake my form for the Undead. I could be shot with a silver bullet and have my head bashed in with a shovel before making it to my brand new, eco-friendly Prius.

Is there a label for this justified and common fear?

Another issue that needs to be labeled is the condition of falling tree frogs. (Background knowledge for you: there are two maple trees on either side of our driveway. Their branches, thick with foliage, hang over my brand new, eco-friendly Prius). While driving on the highway last week, a tree frog crawled out from underneath my window wiper blade.

She stared at me through the front window glass.

This must be a common occurrence with tree frogs--falling off of their tree home onto car windshields, and then crawling under wiper blades for comfort. But as we could not converse, neither of us speaking the other's language, I could not be sure if this was a suicide attempt, or a leap of desired adventure. Knowing this would help greatly in determining a proper label for her actions.

Now all of this leads up to what you have each been thinking: do frogs worry about becoming zombies?

If so, what can we do to help alleviate their fears? The first step, obviously, is to label this psychosis. Ideas: TFZF, tree frog zombie fear; Frogbie Disorder; Undead TR Obsession.

Once a label name has been established, us caring humans will have to start outreach committees and support groups. It is the only right thing to do in this situation.

Wow. Now that I see that my fears of Jacuzzi Zombie Mistaken Identity Disorder are nothing compared to my green friend's issues, I feel a mighty compassion overtaking me. My anxieties have disappeared. Thank you, tree frog, for bringing me to this new found sense of peace.

Namaste, tree frog.


If this were a High School Quiz posting, this would be my question to test your reading skills: What kind of car do I own?

Don't worry about the tree frog. She was safely re-homed at the edge of the Humboldt Bay, on a bed of tasty grass. No animals, or amphibians, were harmed in the making of this blog.

Heather Leigh,
Writer at Peace

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