Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Ravens On AODD

I have AODD. Whew, now that I have admitted my failing, I am feeling so much better. Relief off the old burden box shoulders.

Oh, now you need me to explain to you what my previously hidden issue is. Attention Over Drive Disorder: there are too many story possibilities to possibly stay focused. On anything.

For example, what the zumba dance teacher was doing this morning. How was I supposed to follow along with anything? I was being bombarded with how to write a funny blog about being consistently one half a step behind every one else in the class.

That kids book about the mini person and the raven that I wrote? Well, that came through at a traffic light. That world famous one--the left turn signal that we parents ran smack against Monday through Friday  mornings at the charter school. It gave ample time for reflection with a light that let about five cars go through every five minutes. Hmmm. I still remember those fun mornings.

Anyhow, there were pepper trees along the sidewalk. Now most people would have been spending their time doing something productive, like slurping coffee or screaming at the kids to be quiet. But the AODD afflicted are stuck with forcing these events into a story.

I could barely pay attention when it came my turn to inch forward. There were too many things to think about: designing a home for Piper, her personality, what mini people living on a Pepper Tree would eat, and whether or not she would be eaten by the raven.

How could I be expected to drive? Pay attention to the road? Hah, that is for those medicated people who can manage a normal thought. And writers have yet to be drugged up by pharmaceutical companies for our disease. Our issues have not even been addressed by the medical establishment. Probably because they are afraid we would write something silly about them in our next blog. Which is most likely accurate.

Back to zumba. Whoever thought up a cardio workout in which you actually have to pay attention? That dancer dumb-dumb probably could not even write a complete paragraph. Let alone an entire story.

Now, I am not just saying this so that I feel okay with myself for not being able to keep up in a gym class. This is all scientific, easy-to-prove fact. If it were not for my writing induced brain, I would be Queen of the Zumba World. So true.

I could do more scientific research, but our puppy just trotted in. That curly furred cutie is dripping with story what is it like to wear a fur coat 24/7? Why do they like humans to such an irrational level? What would happen if dogs could suddenly see in color?

Can't write anymore. Too much crowding into my brain to focus. Dang puppy.

Heather Leigh,
First Person To Come Out About Her AODD

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