Friday, December 23, 2016

Universal Animal Questions

There are two main universal questions about animals, neither of which will likely ever be completely answered:
First Question Are the tree frogs in our front yard croaking solo or in harmony?
     Solo Argument: There can be only one frog singing at a time. Each with his unique and lively, yet throaty voice. A rhythm that surges out from his soul and speaks to the heart of his listeners. Frog worlds do not include back-up singers. Each frog has his daily fifteen minutes of fame.

Of course, there is an orchestrator. A Froggy Director who ensures that there is no pause between the fifteen minute performances. She points her grass blade wand to the next Croaker right on cue, every time. Frogs are in flow with the bliss of the moment. There has never been a mistake made on timing, in the history of frogs. It is a beautiful thing.

     Harmony Argument: Darwin taught us that evolution has brought us a race of Super Singers who are able to croak in unison. Anyone who cannot detect that the noises collected are several at once, do not deserve their own listening skill. After millions of generations of green creatures practicing their talents every morning, harmonizing has become tadpole play.

From the first time that tadpoles wag their tails, they are a part of the rhythm of their heritage. Her body rolls instantaneously along with the Great Vibration of Froggydom. At the moment that the throat is put together within the growing animal, and croaking has been made possible, the tadpole takes her place among her 'peeps'. What is a Mystery to us humans, is a reality to the frogs. It is really that simple.

Second Question Which dog is moving our couch to the middle of the room every day while we are gone?
     Recently, we lost our much beloved Australian Shepherd, Sydney. She was the last dog that I will ever have as a companion.

--Oh, excuse me. I was interrupted by our two puppies. They came for a quick chat. Daisy, weighing in at eighty-five pounds is a St. Bermastiff, half St. Bernard and the rest Bull Mastiff. Morris at a full sixteen pounds, including that white, curly, fluffy fur, is a mixture of Maltese and Mutt.

Favorite game for rain, mud, puddle season? Chase-Around-The-Backyard-Perimeter. The goals include:
hitting maximum mud, being the first through the doggy door, spreading dirt all over the house.
Taking turns in the chasing is a must in the quest for fair play and sportsdogship.

The end of each Round is accomplished in a leap to the sofa, pushing with all of that canine might.

So the question remains: Is it Daisy or Morris who is pushing the furniture around like a bag of dog treats? We don't even have an argument as to which one it could be. A complete and total mystery on all accounts. Maybe a professional movie camera would be able to record the details of their leaps, and we could analyze the video and figure it out. Until then, we are stumped.

Oh well, at least we are entertained.

So this holiday season, please think of the universal animal questions. Perhaps you will come to a conclusion and answer the unanswerable.

Happy Holidays!

Heather Leigh,
Human Amongst Animal Attitudes

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