The Webster's Universal Dictionary on my desk has over nine hundred pages of word definitions. That means, a whole heck of a lot of people got to think up new words, and get them published into a respected book that makes the words legitimate. These aren't slang words that only last a season or two, like twirking, which I still don't fully understand nor do I want to.
So, if all of these other word savvy smarty pants are made famous by getting their idea into a legitimizing book, then I have the right to enter Webster's as well. I'm pretty sure that's what eminent domain means. Or something close to that.
Here is my list:
Blahtrans, noun. the last day of being sick and realizing that tomorrow there is no excuse for being lazy. It is the essence of feeling blah to the moment. Of transitioning from a state of utter addiction and need for the warm, healing, comfy bed, to the world of productivity and cheerful people. See also, ambivalence.
Mudshea, verb. The act of discovering that on this day you will be unexpectantly washing sheets. Corresponds directly with muddy backyard from stormy day, and having two wrestling puppies snuggling under covers into above mentioned comfy bed.
Maswon, verb. An intellectual wondering as to why I do not have a massage therapist coming over nightly to massage my back before bedtime. This is especially prevalent to the hard-working writer who does so much to entertain the world. Finding laughter for others is a tough daily grind.
Cold Geese, noun. Geese flying south for the winter are a reminder that we are being left behind to endure the cold that they are skipping town over. Some unclever people believe that their presence, view, and flight patterns are lovely. Those are the people that most adhere to the next definition.
Stupeweaden, noun. Stupid people who wear light clothing in cold situations. If I am chilled, everyone else should be wearing a sweater. If they are walking around in a tee-shirt, they are deniers of the goose bumps on their skin which can quickly turn to frostbite within seconds. How do they not know this? Did they not have grandmothers who warned them of the seriousness of the evening chill?
Woo Scream, noun. The screaming that you will hear when I see my first of many Royalty payments of over one million dollars. Has been utilized by a plethora of writers before me. However, I am the first to actually get the word into Webster's. Hah, take that Hemingway.
This is a partial list of my new word entries. Perhaps I should start a GoFundMe account to get them popular with english speakers. The entry level fund for the account will be one million dollars. You can stick the money in my donation button to the right of this post.
Thank you for your support! The first donator will be with me on the red carpet as I receive my award for most highly achieved utilizer of the new words account in the Webster's dictionary. We'll go out for dairy-free frozen yogurt after the ceremony.
Originator of self-serving words