Working at a luxury day spa, I am often privy to wealthy people's conversations. While most are happy, wonderful people, there are those who, well, like to complain. And the two most common complaints I hear are about their home remodeling job, and how this year's tropical vacation was NOT as good as last years.
Well, I can sympathize.
First off, when I do my own remodeling job at home, such as put a chair back in the dining room or replace a broken piece of tile, the job is just not that great. The chair either tiptoes back to its original place in the middle of the room, or the tile is cross-eyed backwards (don't ask me to explain what this means--you get the gist of it). Or, last year when I tried to paint over the rust in the bathroom sink, the white color didn't match anything the human eye has ever seen. And forget about the new futon in the living room. The cats have taken it over and won't share a single paw space.
And don't get me started on that last stay-cation. Can you believe I had to park two blocks away from the beach and walk! Where is the free valet beach service in San Diego? Where are my tax dollars going? Then at the dog park when Sydney pooped on the grass, the people there looked at me like I was supposed to pick up her mess. What is this country coming to when I have to take responsibility for my own dog? Please, people, please.
Okay, and can we talk about house cleaning? Years ago, I sent my maid on vacation to Hawaii and she never came back. There is just no respect for employers anymore. But don't worry, when she comes back she will learn her lesson. I have not dusted or cleaned a single window since she left. I am letting the gunk build up for her to clean. That will teach her!
I have to leave now to get my son. While I'm gone, Sydney has agreed to clean things up a bit here. It's only fair after that dog park incident. She said she is going to rearrange the trash onto the kitchen floor and put my bedspread into a new format. At least I can count on my dog to help me on remodeling and decorating. Now maybe the cats will start licking the walls clean like they do their fur. Oh, what a beautiful home we shall have!
Heather Leigh
Friday, June 27, 2014
Monday, June 16, 2014
Ego Bashing the Therapist
Today I am happy to report that I had my judgemental ego handed to me on a plate with a side of relish. As somebody reading this may already know, my day job is Massage Therapist, working at a fancy day spa. In case there are those among you who have never fallen into the blissful trappings of a day spa, I will give a brief run-down of how things are done.
When you make an appointment for a massage, the time given is carved in stone. If you show up late, it is your time that is grabbed away from the minutes spent under the loving hands of a therapist. This has to do with scheduling and efficiency.
So, when clients makes an appointment for a 25 minute massage and waltz in 15 minutes late, well, you see where the complications arise.
When this happened today with a couple who my co-worker and I were to work on, we decided to relent and give way to going past the pre-set time. BUT, then the couple walked in slowly, ignored us therapists on the way to the massage room in order to discuss business, and gave an overall feeling of a lack of appreciation for our services and us as people.
My co-worker and I judged them to be inconsiderate and rude monsters.
But, we are in a giving, serving profession and gave the best massages in the 15 minutes we had available.
At the end of the massage, I escorted them to the relaxation lounge and got to chatting with them. Turns out they have seven girls and one boy ranging from ages two to seventeen years old. After a bit of freaking out on my part, the husband went on to joyously convey to me how much they loved their family life, how wonderful their children are, and how much love is shown between the siblings.
Gracious, how I had misjudged them. From just one sliver of information about two people who had a whole lifetime of personality outside of the 30 minutes that I had known them, I was excruciatingly quick in defining their character.
They were the world's nicest family! Right up there with Andy Griffith and the Brady Bunch. This is one of the few times that receiving an ego bashing was done peacefully. I got the message and was thankful.
Heather Leigh
When you make an appointment for a massage, the time given is carved in stone. If you show up late, it is your time that is grabbed away from the minutes spent under the loving hands of a therapist. This has to do with scheduling and efficiency.
So, when clients makes an appointment for a 25 minute massage and waltz in 15 minutes late, well, you see where the complications arise.
When this happened today with a couple who my co-worker and I were to work on, we decided to relent and give way to going past the pre-set time. BUT, then the couple walked in slowly, ignored us therapists on the way to the massage room in order to discuss business, and gave an overall feeling of a lack of appreciation for our services and us as people.
My co-worker and I judged them to be inconsiderate and rude monsters.
But, we are in a giving, serving profession and gave the best massages in the 15 minutes we had available.
At the end of the massage, I escorted them to the relaxation lounge and got to chatting with them. Turns out they have seven girls and one boy ranging from ages two to seventeen years old. After a bit of freaking out on my part, the husband went on to joyously convey to me how much they loved their family life, how wonderful their children are, and how much love is shown between the siblings.
Gracious, how I had misjudged them. From just one sliver of information about two people who had a whole lifetime of personality outside of the 30 minutes that I had known them, I was excruciatingly quick in defining their character.
They were the world's nicest family! Right up there with Andy Griffith and the Brady Bunch. This is one of the few times that receiving an ego bashing was done peacefully. I got the message and was thankful.
Heather Leigh
Friday, June 6, 2014
Proud To Be Rotating The Earth
Our normally peaceful, on the verge of boring, home has been quite the busy place this month. My youngest son has been preparing his eighth grade portfolio, memorizing his scarecrow lines for the school's version of 'Dorothy In Wonderland', getting ready for the 8th grade end of the school year white water rafting trip, and competing in a ballroom dance competition. Wow! Did we really do all of that in one month? No wonder I'm tired.
The older one went to his girlfriend's prom, tonight his prom, finished up the end of the school year exhibition night projects, applied for summer jobs, is getting ready for college, and applied for a summer internship at the huge Aquarium center at at nearby university.
Whew! And they still have another week of school.
Doesn't it seem like nothing too crazy or much has happened in your life until you look back and think about what has been accomplished in your past few weeks? Does to me quite often. I like to look back at every day and reflect on what I did. Then the rushing around, or pure laziness, shines out as actual things taking place that our family was a part of. Takes away any guilt of having snuck in Mahjong on the computer when I should have been attending to this blog. Or watching 'The English Patient' for the umpteenth time with a mountain of laundry tumbling from my room straight into the hallway--blocking the way to the bathroom, for gosh sakes.
I rambled too long on what the boys did, so I will hold back from boring you with what things were crossed off my Forever Present, never quite done, LIST OF THINGS TO DO.
Not to get off this flowery yet in-depth subject of our family's May accomplishments, but I wonder what will happen to my LIST when I die? Surely, the world will stop spinning--or at the very least, wobble a bit. My list must be holding together something in this perfectly turning globe. Doesn't your list help the world spin more peacefully on its axis? Can't you feel the gentle hum of the rotating earth being moved along with more efficiency every time you cross something off of it. I sure do.
But now here is the really weird thing about that rotating earth and our connection with it through our lists...
No one, I mean, not one single person on this crowded planet, has ever thanked me for keeping their world in spinning harmony by ticking off another item on the LIST. How about you? Ever been thanked? Yeah, weird, huh? Its like they don't even know.
Well, that was enough time away from my list. If I don't get the vacuuming done, there may be a significant jolt in the planetary cycle just as people are sitting down to dinner. List crossing off may be a thankless job but some one has to do it. Might as well be us.
And thank goodness that the next generation is being trained on getting things done. Makes me feel a deep, unabashed part of the universal scheme of rotation to have produced two contributors to the revolving of the earth. Spin on, earth! I will get the dog washed and finish writing another chapter this weekend.
Heather Leigh
The older one went to his girlfriend's prom, tonight his prom, finished up the end of the school year exhibition night projects, applied for summer jobs, is getting ready for college, and applied for a summer internship at the huge Aquarium center at at nearby university.
Whew! And they still have another week of school.
Doesn't it seem like nothing too crazy or much has happened in your life until you look back and think about what has been accomplished in your past few weeks? Does to me quite often. I like to look back at every day and reflect on what I did. Then the rushing around, or pure laziness, shines out as actual things taking place that our family was a part of. Takes away any guilt of having snuck in Mahjong on the computer when I should have been attending to this blog. Or watching 'The English Patient' for the umpteenth time with a mountain of laundry tumbling from my room straight into the hallway--blocking the way to the bathroom, for gosh sakes.
I rambled too long on what the boys did, so I will hold back from boring you with what things were crossed off my Forever Present, never quite done, LIST OF THINGS TO DO.
Not to get off this flowery yet in-depth subject of our family's May accomplishments, but I wonder what will happen to my LIST when I die? Surely, the world will stop spinning--or at the very least, wobble a bit. My list must be holding together something in this perfectly turning globe. Doesn't your list help the world spin more peacefully on its axis? Can't you feel the gentle hum of the rotating earth being moved along with more efficiency every time you cross something off of it. I sure do.
But now here is the really weird thing about that rotating earth and our connection with it through our lists...
No one, I mean, not one single person on this crowded planet, has ever thanked me for keeping their world in spinning harmony by ticking off another item on the LIST. How about you? Ever been thanked? Yeah, weird, huh? Its like they don't even know.
Well, that was enough time away from my list. If I don't get the vacuuming done, there may be a significant jolt in the planetary cycle just as people are sitting down to dinner. List crossing off may be a thankless job but some one has to do it. Might as well be us.
And thank goodness that the next generation is being trained on getting things done. Makes me feel a deep, unabashed part of the universal scheme of rotation to have produced two contributors to the revolving of the earth. Spin on, earth! I will get the dog washed and finish writing another chapter this weekend.
Heather Leigh
Friday, May 30, 2014
Tighten Up That Iron!
After dropping off the kids at school and am too tired to write, have dishes in the sink, and an (almost) overwhelming desire to eat popcorn and watch The Sound of Music for the millionth and one time, I hear my Creative Writing teacher, Dave Holper, calling whimsically out over the land from northern California:
STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT!
So, I trudge my way over to the over worn but not overly comfy chair and start writing.
Damn that Dave Holper. If it weren't for him and that class in which he also demanded that we write at least a line a day, I would be basking in a bag of Spice Drops--the only decent candy left in the world--and laughing about piano playing cats on the internet. Life would be much more decadent and lazy, as well it should be.
And then, to add more to the cauldron of teachers with wickedly good advice, my picture book instructor, Diane D'Andrade, from long ago whispers firmly in my ear to tighten up my writing. Okay, I whisper back. But can't I keep this one little tiny paragraph that has absolutely nothing to do with the story but shows how great of a story teller I am? Can't I keep at least that? I mean, give me something here, woman.
And into my ear, from years ago, she kindly, mildly, screams NO you may one keep that paragraph.
And that adjective? She adds, cross it out, not needed.
TIGHTEN UP!
Okay, I meekly respond. And I highlight and delete the words and my ego. Now stricken from public view for an eternity.
At the end of a rough draft of each chapter, when I go back to review, there is a third teacher who haunts my tales. Her name is caught somewhere in the mysterious folds of my brain, meaning I do not remember. "I don't know where I am in your story. Give me setting. Ground me."
So, I dutifully go back and place her spirit gently on the floor in the middle of the story and show her where she is. She is blindfolded, so I have to describe every silly little detail.
Now that I think about it, Dave used to tell me the same thing.
SHOW ME WHERE I AM!
Hand in hand, step by step, word by word, I show them. We travel about the room, smelling, feeling, touching, sensing, seeing where we are. We look out every window and examine characters in every mirror. Finally, we all breathe sighs of comfort when we gain the grounding essence. It is a magical moment.
It is not until these past demanding teachers have been appeased every day that I can grant my self rest. And yet, I still search out writing classes and add more teachers to my list of words to attend to. Why am I so crazy? Oh, that's right, I almost forgot. It is because I am a writer.
And for that, I have only myself to blame.
Heather Leigh
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Hippo Secrets and Crocodiles
Okay, so my newest kids story is COMPLETELY hush hush secret. But let me tell you this--research has never been more fun!
I was never into research in school and especially not college. Everything I was looking into was boring and the topics were chosen by the teacher. Oh, I am leaving out that WAY back then, there was no internet or google to glean information from at the tip of my fingers. I actually had to go the the library, for gosh sake. From there, books had to be hunted down from a computer catalogue and then found by myself or a helpful librarian. It could take an hour to find the necessary books for just one subject and then only get a paragraph worth of information.
And my sons complain that our internet is too slow! If they only knew.
Now when I desperately need to know the difference between a crocodile and an alligator, it is within a moment's lightening speed. Even funny images about how a croc eats babies with its mouth opened with a 'C' shape and an alligator with an 'A' shape.
Research life in this era is so grand.
Even doing freelance article writing is fun. For every one I write, I just google the subject, and there is a plethora of stuff already written about it. All I have to do is a bit of reading, put together what I've learned, and then spit it out onto a new Word Document. People actually pay me to do this!
The things I've learned, too--stuff that makes me sound like I know what I'm talking about during bar conversations.
Back to my new hush-hush book. Okay, the stuff I am learning has nothing to do with non-fiction newsworthy stuff. It's for a kids chapter book. But oh is it funny! I'm looking at images of creative stuff other people have done and boy are people crazy. I want friends like this who would do the kind of silly stuff I am downloading pictures of.
This is making me scream with a desire to tell you what I am writing about. But, as I swore a blood oath with friend CJ, I am not at liberty to tell. I will just have to hold in this hippo sized secret until the book is ready--hopefully in the Fall. It had better be, I don't know if I can wait any longer than that!
Heather Leigh
I was never into research in school and especially not college. Everything I was looking into was boring and the topics were chosen by the teacher. Oh, I am leaving out that WAY back then, there was no internet or google to glean information from at the tip of my fingers. I actually had to go the the library, for gosh sake. From there, books had to be hunted down from a computer catalogue and then found by myself or a helpful librarian. It could take an hour to find the necessary books for just one subject and then only get a paragraph worth of information.
And my sons complain that our internet is too slow! If they only knew.
Now when I desperately need to know the difference between a crocodile and an alligator, it is within a moment's lightening speed. Even funny images about how a croc eats babies with its mouth opened with a 'C' shape and an alligator with an 'A' shape.
Research life in this era is so grand.
Even doing freelance article writing is fun. For every one I write, I just google the subject, and there is a plethora of stuff already written about it. All I have to do is a bit of reading, put together what I've learned, and then spit it out onto a new Word Document. People actually pay me to do this!
The things I've learned, too--stuff that makes me sound like I know what I'm talking about during bar conversations.
Back to my new hush-hush book. Okay, the stuff I am learning has nothing to do with non-fiction newsworthy stuff. It's for a kids chapter book. But oh is it funny! I'm looking at images of creative stuff other people have done and boy are people crazy. I want friends like this who would do the kind of silly stuff I am downloading pictures of.
This is making me scream with a desire to tell you what I am writing about. But, as I swore a blood oath with friend CJ, I am not at liberty to tell. I will just have to hold in this hippo sized secret until the book is ready--hopefully in the Fall. It had better be, I don't know if I can wait any longer than that!
Heather Leigh
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Philosophy, Mud Pies, and Therapy
Talking with a long time friend and fellow writer recently, she revealed that finishing her young adult novel was proving to be a challenge. She just keeps adding and adding and adding to the pot and the soup is never done. As everything in writing is about what is going on inside of you, this is an outer display of some inside challenge. I don't mean to throw philosophical mud pies into this blog, but there you have it. Authors have stuff going on in their core, and it is going to show up in their work.
Which slams open a variety of topics. Such as: you nor I have any idea what her challenge is on why she is not making an easy, neat and tidy, efficient ending to her story. Why she cannot wipe the dust from her chapped finger tips and declare the tale she has undertaken as concluded. We can assume, conjecture, and imagine, but only she will ever know the complete truth as to her inner wrestling with the beast called The End.
The young adult novel that I just posted on Amazon, Black Licorice, is so much better than the first in this trilogy. Does this mean that I am getting better as a writer, that I am sick and tired of writing so just sticking up stuff on the inter net so I won't have to face it anymore, or that I have obtained Writer's Enlightenment and can pump out perfect stories in a single weekend? My ego will definitely go for the latter of these choices. Probably, however, it has more to do with the fact that I have had more practice at writing a novel than when I wrote Red Nectar. That, and the reviews that sweet, kind, generous people bestowed on me helped me to know what to do and not to do in subsequent novels.
I find it fascinating to read reviews of my stuff. It's like being the fly on the wall to people talking about you. Reviews by people I've never met are the best. They are not holding back due to some fear that we won't be friends if they say they don't like the way I wrote something. It is a chance to gain insight into my character, personality, and relationship with the world through words.
Scout and Ellie, a middle grade chapter book of mine, ended a 10 book giveaway through Goodreads.com last week. I'll be sending out the books to the winners this week. Once readers check out the book, they will most likely log on to Goodreads.com and post a review. Yey! More insight as to where I am in life from outsiders, and how I can improve my writing.
In the last giveaway that I did for Red Nectar, a very insightful reader said she would have given the book 4 stars over the three that she assigned it if it weren't for the interruptions that I made in the telling of the story. Seems my talking about political and environmental situations that were not necessarily relevant to the story, well, they weren't wanted. On a personal level, this means to keep my topics of discussion with others connected to what we are talking about--not to interject with my own biased views. And as a writer, I see the importance of the words of one of my favorite writing teachers, Diane D'Andrade, "Stick to the story--no one wants to hear your 'message'."
Writing and casting my stories up to the public eye is like having the general public as my personal therapist. If I manage to shove aside my ego, I can gain profound inner knowledge. Of course, I have to remember that each reviewer has their own 'stuff' inside of them that is affecting how they perceive what I write. But somewhere between my ego and their stuff, glimpses of core stuff both personal and writing-wise can be seen.
Wow, all of this stems from writing words on a computer. One of the biggies of why I LOVE being an author--and why everyone should write at least one book in their life time.
Heather Leigh
aka author of the freshly posted Black Licorice
Which slams open a variety of topics. Such as: you nor I have any idea what her challenge is on why she is not making an easy, neat and tidy, efficient ending to her story. Why she cannot wipe the dust from her chapped finger tips and declare the tale she has undertaken as concluded. We can assume, conjecture, and imagine, but only she will ever know the complete truth as to her inner wrestling with the beast called The End.
The young adult novel that I just posted on Amazon, Black Licorice, is so much better than the first in this trilogy. Does this mean that I am getting better as a writer, that I am sick and tired of writing so just sticking up stuff on the inter net so I won't have to face it anymore, or that I have obtained Writer's Enlightenment and can pump out perfect stories in a single weekend? My ego will definitely go for the latter of these choices. Probably, however, it has more to do with the fact that I have had more practice at writing a novel than when I wrote Red Nectar. That, and the reviews that sweet, kind, generous people bestowed on me helped me to know what to do and not to do in subsequent novels.
I find it fascinating to read reviews of my stuff. It's like being the fly on the wall to people talking about you. Reviews by people I've never met are the best. They are not holding back due to some fear that we won't be friends if they say they don't like the way I wrote something. It is a chance to gain insight into my character, personality, and relationship with the world through words.
Scout and Ellie, a middle grade chapter book of mine, ended a 10 book giveaway through Goodreads.com last week. I'll be sending out the books to the winners this week. Once readers check out the book, they will most likely log on to Goodreads.com and post a review. Yey! More insight as to where I am in life from outsiders, and how I can improve my writing.
In the last giveaway that I did for Red Nectar, a very insightful reader said she would have given the book 4 stars over the three that she assigned it if it weren't for the interruptions that I made in the telling of the story. Seems my talking about political and environmental situations that were not necessarily relevant to the story, well, they weren't wanted. On a personal level, this means to keep my topics of discussion with others connected to what we are talking about--not to interject with my own biased views. And as a writer, I see the importance of the words of one of my favorite writing teachers, Diane D'Andrade, "Stick to the story--no one wants to hear your 'message'."
Writing and casting my stories up to the public eye is like having the general public as my personal therapist. If I manage to shove aside my ego, I can gain profound inner knowledge. Of course, I have to remember that each reviewer has their own 'stuff' inside of them that is affecting how they perceive what I write. But somewhere between my ego and their stuff, glimpses of core stuff both personal and writing-wise can be seen.
Wow, all of this stems from writing words on a computer. One of the biggies of why I LOVE being an author--and why everyone should write at least one book in their life time.
Heather Leigh
aka author of the freshly posted Black Licorice
Thursday, May 8, 2014
BIG Questions
There is a small bird perched on a street lamp outside my window. His song is a sweet chirp that is amazingly loud in comparison to his tiny size. How do birds chirp so loudly when they do not seem to have the lung capacity to make enough for anyone to hear them more than a foot away?
Another question for you that can never solved: on what day did my boys go from being in need of a hug every time they scraped their knee to becoming Freshmen in college and high school? This is one of the great mysteries of life, never to be solved by any parent in the Universe.
What happened to the days when the most passionate discussion in our house was whether or not the Incredible Hulk was a legitimate Superhero. Can anyone tell me?
Okay, I'll quit with the nostalgia whining. Here are some more questions that have stumped me but perhaps you can answer:
Why has Alan Rickman not asked me out when I have told all of my friends that he is my movie star crush. I mean, what other hint does that man want?
How is it that Harper Lee was able to write one book, To Kill A Mocking Bird, and retire in Hawaii from the profits? Has anyone else ever done something so clever in one shot?
Why are we still using cars rather than a huge network of mass transit? Am I the only one who gets that traffic sucks?
Why do people say that cats are aloof and impersonal when mine YELL at me for attention every night. They are so demanding--you wouldn't even believe it.
How can an ex-boyfriend send one silly little e-mail to say hello and make me realize that I still like that big old stupid jerk. What the heck is up with that?
Why is the sky blue? Okay, just had to add the obvious question.
Who invented chocolate covered caramels and where can I send my eternal gratitude for this godly treat? And did you know that now they offer it with a touch of sea salt? Where are these genius candy makers?
Why have I never met a leprechaun? Do they really store their gold at the end of the rainbow? What about when there is a double rainbow--are there two pots of gold?
Has anyone done a truly thorough search for unicorns, dragons and fairies to be sure they are really gone from the earth? It is a worthy quest.
Anyone have any answers for me, please let me know. And, if you have any questions for me, post it on my face book.
Heather Leigh
Another question for you that can never solved: on what day did my boys go from being in need of a hug every time they scraped their knee to becoming Freshmen in college and high school? This is one of the great mysteries of life, never to be solved by any parent in the Universe.
What happened to the days when the most passionate discussion in our house was whether or not the Incredible Hulk was a legitimate Superhero. Can anyone tell me?
Okay, I'll quit with the nostalgia whining. Here are some more questions that have stumped me but perhaps you can answer:
Why has Alan Rickman not asked me out when I have told all of my friends that he is my movie star crush. I mean, what other hint does that man want?
How is it that Harper Lee was able to write one book, To Kill A Mocking Bird, and retire in Hawaii from the profits? Has anyone else ever done something so clever in one shot?
Why are we still using cars rather than a huge network of mass transit? Am I the only one who gets that traffic sucks?
Why do people say that cats are aloof and impersonal when mine YELL at me for attention every night. They are so demanding--you wouldn't even believe it.
How can an ex-boyfriend send one silly little e-mail to say hello and make me realize that I still like that big old stupid jerk. What the heck is up with that?
Why is the sky blue? Okay, just had to add the obvious question.
Who invented chocolate covered caramels and where can I send my eternal gratitude for this godly treat? And did you know that now they offer it with a touch of sea salt? Where are these genius candy makers?
Why have I never met a leprechaun? Do they really store their gold at the end of the rainbow? What about when there is a double rainbow--are there two pots of gold?
Has anyone done a truly thorough search for unicorns, dragons and fairies to be sure they are really gone from the earth? It is a worthy quest.
Anyone have any answers for me, please let me know. And, if you have any questions for me, post it on my face book.
Heather Leigh
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