Giraffes are six feet tall at birth. They have to be able to nurse from those mile high udders of their mothers, and be able to run from lions. Baby birds get pitched out the nest on their first flying lesson. It's all about fly or die--first time here, people. Whales are born while swimming with the pack. No waiting until they can fit into floaties and slowly make their way into the sea.
Those animals totally one up our kids.
Our kids are still dependent on us for years. My High School History teacher used to say that we were no longer dependent on our parents until we did our own laundry. Some people are still dropping off their dirty jeans until mid-twenties. We won't even bring up the ones who are living at home at thirty. Scary stuff.
What if after high school, our kids got the parental boot. I could have told my eighteen year old son, "Get a job, rent an apartment, and good luck on that whole college thing. E-mail your new address so I can put you on my Christmas card list."
Except that, now here is my sentimental side exposing itself like a flasher on meth, I like having him around. We don't have that teenage thing going anymore. I don't have to remind him to eat a healthy breakfast, read every night, and to curtail the 'attitude' against Mom thing. We do get to discuss politics, get crazy excited over Pluto pictures, and listen to our different reading interests. He's into Marvel and DC comics and I'm a certified lover of novels, especially new authors.
The other kid I get at home for at least three more years. He is threatening to move back to his desired homeland of San Diego. But I have three years to stab him with guilt over leaving his poor dear mother, slip-in manipulative comments against big cities, and drug him into wanting to stay in the area. I mean, three years is a long time. I can plan some serious underhanded moves to get him to stay. If that doesn't work, San Diego is a good place to visit. Some of my favorite people live there.
Because with that kid, he has one of the most finely honed senses of humor that I have ever come across. He just plain makes me laugh. Where do you think I get the dialogue and attitude for the Scout and Ellie book series? So him sticking around for as long as possible with me is a necessity. How am I supposed to write a chapter book with him seven hundred and fifty miles away? I'll just never laugh again if he's gone. It won't be my fault if I become boring, dull and mundane in three years. Don't blame me, people.
The oldest kid just came in to show me the newest 007 trailer. He knows my severe, intense, obsessive fascination with Daniel Craig. Had my son been a bird, it could have been weeks before I had ever known to watch the trailer. Wow, thank goodness he was born a human.
Well, gotta go now. I have one more load of teenager clothing to wash.
Mother of two human children