Sunday, July 12, 2015

Horrid Animal Activities

There is some wicked, socially deviant behavior occurring in the farm behind our house. For reasons that I will only reveal to my trusted readers, I will tell you what I know.

They are mixing breeds. Yes, it's true. Right there where children can see, even school field trips go into that forsaken territory, there is a mixture of piglets, calves and baby goats. And that is just one field alone! Who knows what happens beyond the view blocking garden of growing corn stalks.

Those poor piglets. Goodness only knows what is going to happen when they are attacked by the black sheep of the families. I shudder what to think could come out of this: piglambs, goatcows, bullsheep. Sickening. They don't even have the animals divided into their own colors.

And what about us landowners? You know this kind of mixing will only lead to gangs, violence, and animal tranquilizers. Property values are just shooting down as we speak.

Okay, so I told you that I would only share with you why I have not reported the demonizing terrors that are being carried on right over our fence. As I know this is a private blog, with only a few hundred of my closest international friends who I have never met, I can trust you with my secret.

We have a mixture of interacting species right here in our very house. Every night, I take our old Australian Shepherd, Sydney, out for her three block walk (that's about all she's up to now a days). And every night, her lifelong friend walks beside her. And no, it is not another dog. It is, Playful, our cat.

Neither are leashed. They are doing this of their own free will. Side by side, their old furry butts in front of me leading the way, they flaunt their relationship for the whole neighborhood to see. Both female and being of entirely different species. My only consolation is that both been through the spay/neuter thing. There will be no dogcats born in my house!

So you might think to your self, well, they are both very old. At least this horrid behavior will die with them. Until you learn about Daisy...the puppy.

We have two cats, both from the same litter chosen over twelve years ago to join our family. The sister cat, Girl, seems to have developed a love/hate relationship with Daisy. You might think that their seemingly normal acts of puppy chasing old cat, old cat giving her a few claw swats would be all there was to this thing between them. But that is not the end of it. When they think no one is watching, they have been hunting gophers. TOGETHER!

Yes, Girl does the scouting, standing at the ready, pointing out where the gopher hole is with her nose. And Daisy bounds over and starts digging. It is a shared ritual here, people!!! And again, they are both female, and of a different color and species.

So now you can understand my dilemma. If I call in the news reporters to shock the world with the atrocities right next to us, they could easily find out what is going on right in my very own home!

I'm not even bringing up that Sydney licks/bathes both cats at least once a week; leaving them covered in dog saliva.

If any of you trusted readers has an answer to help me with this perplexing challenge I find my self facing, please, I beg of you, let me know.

Heather Leigh,
the unscrupulous pet owner

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